Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Sundresses - Who Knew?

As I promised earlier, I am writing today about the magical frumpoflage powers of the sundress. I've been watching Mad Men on AMC, and am always amazed the the get-ups those moms used to wear. Granted, I know it's a TV show, but apparently it's pretty true to the reality of the time. Dresses, dresses, dresses. Even their version of sweats was a housedress. While I'm perfectly fine with constant dress-wearing going the same way as smoking and drinking scotch while pregnant, I've still come to the conclusion that a cute sundress is the easiest, most comfy way to fight frump in the summer. Southern California girls are good at sundress. They make it look easy. It's not quite as easy here in NorCal, where it could be 60 degrees in the morning and 90 by the afternoon. And then there's always the threat of a wayward wind burst in San Francisco, which turned a recent sundress experiment of mine into a 20-second peepshow. All that aside, I still think it's a good way to go. You can wear a sundress from the grocery store to the park to lunch with friends to a wedding, and still feel like you're wearing your pajamas. I'm wearing one today (A-line...good for growing bellies, baby-related or not) and never you mind that my hair is dirty and I have very little makeup on - I still feel like I look pretty damn unfrumpy, if I say so myself. Between my unfrumpy sundress, my $10 unfrumpy jelly sandals from Old Navy, and my big old Nicole Richie sunglasses, I'm a far cry from Tevas and jean shorts. At least for the moment at hand. Tomorrow, as they say, is a brand new day. 

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Photographic evidence of Frumpfoot!

I am excited to unveil a new phase of UMM --photos!! When I get my iPhone, I'll have many more opportunities for photos being that it's much less obvious to take a picture with a cell phone than with a camera. However, I was recently at a museum with my daughter and I was able to snap a few inconspicuous photos of some heinous footwear offenders. Keep in mind, this is only what I was able to capture -- there was plenty more where this came from. In fact, I believe I only spotted one decently shod mom among the whole group. Again, why does this have to be so hard? I was wearing a pair of $40 Steve Madden gladiator-ish sandals - flat, comfy, no-fuss, but with a modicum of style. This is not rocket science, people. 

Exhibit A:

Honestly, I'm not even sure I'd know where to pick up a pair of these if I found myself wanting some. Jerusalem, maybe? (Note my daughter's legs in the background. She's an excellent decoy.)

Exhibit B:

Here, photographed for perhaps the first time in history, a frumpfoot trifecta! For the record, I think one of these is a man, but isn't it just a little bit disturbing that you can barely tell the difference? 

This just goes to show you that they're out there, and they're ASSEMBLING. Stand firm in your stylish flats, fellow frumpfighters! We can prevail!

PS: I just now noticed that one of those frumpfoots in the second picture is wearing jean shorts. I'm pretty sure that's the guy, though I'm not sure that's an excuse. Remember, dads can be frumpy too. 

Friday, August 1, 2008

With frump, I mean child

I am entering a whole new stratosphere of the frump war. I am now a mother of a toddler with a baby on the way. I'm a little over 4 months pregnant—enough to look thick and busty, but not quite enough to be filling out those maternity clothes yet (though I gave up on all my regular pants over a month ago). I thought the frump fight was hard before—now THIS is tough. For one thing, a good 9/10ths of my wardrobe is now moot. For another, I'm even bustier now than I was with my last pregnancy so many of my former maternity shirts now make me look like I'm appearing on the Howard Stern show. A lot of my friends complain about their growing rumps when they get pregnant, but to that I say—at least you can cover those up with a long maternity top! All of my roundness happens from the waist up -- boobs, chin and cheeks. I'm like a snowman on stilts. The boobs I can cover (though most maternity fashion serves to highlight happy preggos' newfound cleavage.) The rest of me, however, is pretty much out there for the world to see. Maternity burkhas, anyone?