Sunday, January 25, 2009

Things you hear after giving birth that make you feel REALLY frumpy

"Here's your diaper full of ice." (Only topped by you, when you ring your nurse bell in the middle of the night and say, "Can I have another diaper full of ice?")

"Sitz bath." (There is NOTHING bath-like about squirting your nethers with cold water after you pee. And why Sitz? Because you're sitting on the toilet when you take this so-called bath?)

"Present your breast to your baby like a sandwich." (Spoken by the lactation consultant who is manhandling your breast and, well, presenting it to your baby like a sandwich.)

"Do you know how to massage your uterus?" (The answer is no, and can't I just get a full-body swedish massage and consider it covered?)

"Maternity panties." (Enough said.)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Here comes the son!

Our beautiful baby boy was born January 15th at 1:05 am! Lincoln Roland Elliott, welcome to the world. We love you so much!















When I get my wits about me, I'll be right back here blogging about new mom frump. There is just SO much material, my friends.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Diapers.com

This post isn't really about frump, or maybe in a roundabout way it is because it saves you from having to go out in the world looking frumpy just to pick up diapers. I am flabbergasted by how few moms know about diapers.com. This website should be bookmarked, highlighted in yellow and placed in a highly visible place on your computer. If I had a batphone that connected me directly to this website, I would be one happy camper. You can get any kind of diapers, plus wipes, plus pretty much anything for your baby on this site. We use it mainly for diapers, which we buy by the case and get this: IT'S FREE SHIPPING AND YOU USUALLY GET IT THE VERY NEXT DAY. Which means, you can do what we do, which is never to plan in advance and suddenly notice that oh crap, we're down to the last four diapers, go online, and have a hugemongous box of them sitting on your front porch the following day. Use it. Love it. Now I'm just waiting for chardonnay.com.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Sweats Dilemma

Seeing as that I'm staring down the barrel of about three straight months of sweats, I thought this would be as good a time as any to talk about them. It's a big issue out there in momdom. Because, let's face it, sweats are the bomb. They are comfortable, they don't show four inches of thong when you bend over, you can move around like an actual human being with joints in them, and they CAN be cute. But that's a big CAN (and no, I'm not talking about your butt). Let's discuss.

First, let's talk about what sweats are *not* cute. This is a big category. Sweats with gathered elastic waistbands, sweats that have ever belonged to your spouse/college boyfriend/random male somewhere in your past, sweats that are made out of what seems to be recycled parachutes (you know, the ones that make that swish swish swish noise when you walk, the volume of which depends upon the size of your thighs), anything purchased at Costco. These are all complete no-nos.

Then there's the gray area. I'm personally not much of a fan of the velour sweatsuit, but that's largely because I usually see it done so poorly. There are far too many moms out there who purchase this little number in a size too small, so their rumps look like overstuffed velour pillows and their midsections peep out the gap between the pants and the top. That said, I have seen the velour thing done well, it's just very, very rare. So if you're one of those people who has the bod and the fashion wherewithal to pull it off, I say hey, get your velour on. I also (as you know if you read this blog regularly) don't dig the sweats that use the butt arena for instant messaging. I've said it before and I'll say it again, even if your butt IS juicy or pink, is that really information you want public?

So, that brings us to sweats that *are* cute. First off, I think it's always better to avoid the whole matching top and bottom ensemble. Once my husband and I were at the airport and he said, "Oh, I didn't know Barney was on our flight." I looked up to see a mom in an entirely purple sweatsuit and the resemblance WAS uncanny. I think no matter the color, the whole matchy-match thing should be left to people under 12 and over 60. What's better is to go with flattering sweatpants and a fitted sweatshirt that don't necessarily match, but look good together. For this, I suggest:

Lululemon -- cute, flattering options and they hem the pants for free. It's a yoga look that's cute walking around town too.

Lucky Brand -- their hoodies tends to be printed and a little bohemian, so they look more like fashion than athletic wear.

Adidas -- some great pieces but you have to be careful not to do the matchy thing or you'll look like an Olympic athlete during opening ceremonies.

Anthropologie -- you wouldn't think of them for sweats, but they have some great, non-sweaty looking lounge clothes.

H&M/Forever 21/Abercrombie -- all those teeny bopper stores have good, cheap sweats... as long as you don't mind having to buy them in, like, extra large.

Happy sweating!