Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Happy Frumpidays!

I love this time of year, when the mailbox is joyfully stuffed with the gorgeous faces of people I love. Every single card we've received this year has been beautiful, festive and creative. That said, there are plenty of pitfalls us overzealous holiday moms can fall into when it comes to sending out cards. Allow me to illustrate some of most prevalent holiday card misfires (courtesy of awkwardfamilyphotos.com):

Pitfall #1: The Matching Outfits








Pitfall #2: The Bizarre Pose








Pitfall #3: The Unnecessary Props


<







Merry holidays everyone! XO!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Calorie Counting for Moms

Now that my baby is almost 11 months old, I'm getting medieval on these last 10 pounds. I just saw a photo of Heidi Klum six weeks after giving birth, and it made me simultaneously curse my genes and decide to fight them tooth and nail. So I started in the most obvious place: calorie counting. I went online and started looking up calorie counts for some of the things I'm eating on a regular basis. Which is how I came to the realization that us moms need a calorie counting chart all our own. I mean, when was the last time you consumed a lunch of "grilled chicken and salad"? Or "salmon on a bed of cous cous"? So here. I've done the research. And it's come to this: the (first-ever?) guide to calorie counting for moms.


Crusts of PB&J sandwich: 100 calories (+/- 20 cal. depending on just how much of the good stuff is oozing into them)

Two (very large) spoonfuls of mac and cheese lunch just "to taste": 50 calories

String cheese that I put in my bag for the kids but got hungry and ate: 80 calories

3-4 waffle bites left on the breakfast plate (with butter and syrup): 35 calories

1 slice of mozzarella quesadilla on whole wheat tortilla, because it's "too big" to serve: 125 calories

Hot dogs: 15 calories per "slice" if I cut the hot dog into 10 slices

Evil, evil Pirate's Booty: 50 calories a handful (I can get a lot in my hand)

Handful of almonds (probably my most regular lunch): 400 (!!!) calories

Wine, wine, and more wine once they go to bed: 125 calories a glass


So here's how it's going to go. More grilled chicken rather than in its nugget state, less cheese, less almonds as a meal replacement, more steering clear of peanut butter, and, as much as it kills me, less glasses of wine.

Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to go eat a slab of cheese with peanut butter and down it with a half bottle of chardonnay.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Walmart and Family Frump

Oh, my fellow unfrumpers, how long it's been. I'm starting to think my to-do list is rivaling Santa's. There's so much frump in the world to discuss, and so little time to do it. So, while I work on christmas shopping/card buying/house decorating/child rearing/unfrumping/nailing a giant work assignment, allow me to turn you on to a few sites I've been loving lately. As you'll see, they dovetail quite nicely into my general theme.

This almost makes me want to shop at Walmart, just for the people watching. ALMOST, I said.
www.peopleofwalmart.com

Especially appropriate this time of year—the horrifying family photo. Now I just need to find an entire blog dedicated to hair-raising Christmas letters. (Note: I especially recommend "LOL Cats" and "The Skivvies")
www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com

Enjoy!