Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Summertime, and the Mamas are Frumpy

Summer is one of the worst seasons of all in Frumpistan. It seems to me that less layers would mean less frump, but the exact opposite is true. Open a summer magazine, and you see pages upon pages of cute hats, beachy hair, jazzy sandals and easy sundresses. Step into a suburban park or a museum between the months of June and September, and you see hundreds of versions of this:

Everything about these outfits—the drab colors, the stretchy fabrics, the unbrushed hair, the multiple straps, the various carrying devices, the fanny packs (!) and, oh god, the footwear—makes me want to poke out my eyeballs while simultaneously mainlining antidepressants. This is SUMMER, moms. Stop giving me Seasonal Affective Disorder with your outfit choices.

Interestingly, the children of moms like this always look cute, colorful and summery. I just don't get how you can zip your daughter into a brightly colored sundress, then slump back to your room and pull on your faded, earth-toned t-shirt and stretchy pants. If it's comfort you're going for, stretchy clothes come in colors, too. And maybe I'm wrong, but I've got to believe a fanny pack cancels out the comfort factor of an elastic waistband.

Not all hope is lost, however. I saw this cute, comfy summer mom at a park a few days ago and she undid some of the damage that's been done to my retinas over the past few months. Thank you, unfrumpy mom. I really, really needed that.


Amy Howard said...

Seriously, why? Why are there only two speeds for active casual: tennis or Yosemite hike prep? Can we toss everything we need to have with us into a cute tote bag and toss all the fanny packs into a bonfire? And wear cute flats as we watch them burn?

jje said...

Amy: I. Don't. Know. It's like all these moms are shopping for their clothes at Bob's Sports Basement in the clearance bin, with REI for dress-up. Why do you need to be dressed for a safari to go to the park? There are NO RHINOS THERE. Or at least not usually.

Anonymous said...

Your posts are too funny! I was searching for inspiration on unfrumping and found you. You provide such good nuggets of information to keep in mind when I'm a mom (I'm currently just in training).

jje said...

Nichole: Glad you found me! If you're looking to unfrump before you even give birth, you're going to be just fine mama. :)